just picture me perfect… picture me whole… picture me worth it… replenish my soul… picture me faithful… picture me in love.. picture me not just fucking… picture me enough…..picture me trusting…   just picture me free…. picture me ME… picture me secure…. picture me loving… picture my heart pure… picture me dancing… picture me second chancing… picture me laughing… picture me happy, just picture me free

I sit here and I find myself surrounded by sleepwalkers. I see men and women walking around living in darkness, and walking blindly as if the answer will oh so perfectly just appear. I see clones, and fake love, I see originality disappear… I see people reading autobiographies of others… highlighting everything that they failed at. I see them laughing blindly at other’s transgressions…they don’t understand value and they foolishly mock inexpensive possessions… they see hard times and hypocritically analyze my depression… as if they have never went the hard way, as if they never had to figuratively hit their head… to learn a difficult lesson…

I remember living the blind life… I used to have no control… each low point in my life was an added notch on my belt… morals and dignity un-felt… I wish I could get some of those rides back… Not because I regret it… but only because most of the men I have bedded… were not deserving of me…  but its whatever though… I finally just had to let it go… I just hate when my past tries to come back to haunt me… I find myself wishing I never got so low… but like I said its whatever though… all that weak shit was in my past and I don’t live there anymore… So leave all your mental scrapbooks on my life at the fucking door… stop looking at my mistakes like you haven’t made a few before…

It’s nothing worst than trying to move on, but then people see you out here getting your groove on… and then all of a sudden all you can do is move wrong.. All because you changed your life and put some new shoes on…

It’s funny because though I know my past isn’t pretty and  i am the first to admit it… I speak life in the fact that I am a better me… and I HAD to have faith… because my clumsy ass broke so many mirrors, luck just wouldn’t get it…

And Karma is a sly bitch… that’s why I believe everything happens for a reason… do some wack shit, wack shit happens… and how? You don’t get to decide bitch… thats why it’s best to put away those stones you are casting to the side bitch… you need to keep that judgement and negativity you talking inside bitch…

Because I am too pretty to be stressing… just being alive today is a blessing, I have way too much going for myself to let anyone test me. I don’t care to interrupt your life, so stay out of mine, just let it rest please

I just want to be the best me…

my heart and my eyes are open… I don’t judge the lost… I believe I can help… I believe I was chosen…to write these words from the bottom of my heart so i can show that  i know that you may real bent…. But you are not broken… I hope through my hurt, my loss and mistakes I can bring hope to the hopeless….