Everything Poetic Rants

SOUL digger….

They tell you to be great… but they mean not greater than the next

They say you need to lose or gain weight… but they don’t want you to look your best..

People are miserable… firing uncalled for shots because they are fighting one-sided, war… a war against my well-being… because even with all the obstacles I have conquered, I have still done MORE…

More than you could’ve dreamed about dreaming of doing… you don’t know half of what I’m pursuing… so get the fuck out of my face… bitch you a fly and I’m shooing… pretty pretty pretty please take a fucking seat, but please not next to me… your vibe is vexing me… Sometimes I wonder why people wake up testing me, when everything that I show you is so you can see the best in me…

But all you see is the worst… you never see my side and that really fucking hurts… … I was way too young for you to tell me that prayer would work…you put my feelings in a casket and shoved it in a hearse… drove to a shallow grave and buried it in dirt…

And then threw in some lies, and shame, and a spoon of blood and a hot sack of tears.. And after a few lost years… you topped it off with some fear…

Grow up they say… as long as you aren’t wiser than they are… it’s like they noticed your greatness and wanted you off the radar…. Yea… they can’t have you on the scene… because you were always a caged bird… and if you were free you would sing…

Or write….

And they would LOVE that..  As long as you only tell their side… because you’re supposed to be on their side… everyone has only heard their side… you are always tripping… so you are WRONG and they’re right….

I hate that I waited till after midnight… but I am trembling as I write… I said I wouldn’t bring it up again but oh well honey I should have never promised you my silence…. I guess I’m just like you……………….I lied… and though part of me feels so wrong… the majority of me feels so right…

I had to let it out I won’t apologize…  no one said sorry to me…  not one time… I have to speak… well write… so I can be whole… I have to be a free, secure, and stable woman for my children…

So I had to exhume my soul…

 

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