Everything

Umm, so hey. I’m Dom…

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I really do not know where to start… so let us start here. With this picture. What does it say to you? How long did you stare at my battered breasts… or whatever the fuck you want to call these things on my chest? Did you grab your chest? Count the number of questions you have… is only one hand up?

I promise you my every intention was to make you stop through here… whoever you are. I want you to see me. I want you to stare. And I want THIS to be what you think about when you think about “Breast Cancer Awareness”.

NOW WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT LEAVE YET!

I am NOT that person. What I mean by that is this is not a “journey through cancer” blog. Fuck no. I am not knocking anyone who received this stupid diagnosis and decided to walk you all through how fucking horrible cancer treatment is… I mean seriously shout out to my fellow cancer brothers and sisters (wait.. can I say that?), but the whole “I have cancer and this happened… here is a pic of me going into surgery!!! Smiling!! Because I am SOOOOO happy they took my tits!”….. its done… redone… and its at least 484 variations of that story…

I need to do more. I need to tell more. I need to do what we are scared to do. I need to tell the truth… 

I suppose being diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer at 26 can cause a girl to do a lot of things. For me? I picked up a pen. That was until my hands started trembling an aching after chemotherapy, so i had to move to typing (don’t get sad.. I can write more and more everyday).

I am pretty sure that I am going to make at least 3 people upset with this blog. Maybe more. I honestly contemplated telling them not to read it. Of course… That would just make them read it… so I will take my chances. 

Early into my life with my diagnosis… I learned that cancer had an EVIL companion… something that is as equally awful as the damn disease itself. That thing is LOSS… never ending, unexpected, unfair and completely devastating losses. In those losses i gained my strength. These losses are my foundation.

As if this isn’t enough… I took a look in the mirror… And I asked myself who the fuck am I now? This is what i came up with

Due to my job…I have seen more dead people than you all have probably seen alive… I literally have seen the worst things you could imagine. But then on weekends I am a makeup artist… all while being a Bad-Ass mother and girlfriend…Did I mention I am a 27 (almost 28) year old stage three breast cancer survivor? 27…. Diagnosed at 26….

 

I am the first of my type… we are not the same….

Life after…. it… was the lowest I had ever been… i found myself left with two choices….

Blow my fucking brains out….. Or let it OUT

And I am NOT dead.

 

 

What i AM is BOLD… I don’t hold back… I have accepted ME the good, the bad,, but especially the ugly… and I am unapologetic about how much I will always be ME. Let my poetry and rants blow your fucking mind.

Most of the time you will see me BEAT… and by beat… I do mean forever scarred bruised. My battle left me beat in a lot of ways… but I also mean that though I am scarred, physically and mentally…. I don’t wear my struggle on my face.

And finally…. What I am is NIPLESS… but I am here to create a place for women like me… real women… I want to become the image of awareness. You aren’t alone… we make mistakes like everyone else… sometimes worst.

Just Hear Me Out…..

 

P.S. If you ever read a story… or a poem… or see something…. and you start feeling froggy????  Leap bitch 🙂

 

43 comments

  1. Welcome, Dom! My dear friend Christine sent me over and happy to be here. Call me S or call me Steve. I write poetry and stuff over at SailorPoet.com and look forward to following your story. I am listening, BadAss!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Dom, I found you through Christine who fortunately shone a light on your courage and beauty and let us WP folk know about your blog. I am very grateful to her for that, because I have not come across a blog that is as unapologetic and raw as yours in a positive way, and you’re right what you say, this is not another blog like that. What struck me was you are the minority of everything, getting cancer at your age puts you in the minority, being a woman of color puts you in the minority, in terms of the voices out there, and for those reasons and others, including your fierce determination and spirit, you can speak to those people out there who feel they have nobody to speak for them. Along the way the average will learn something about what it is like to be in that smaller percentile and how for example breast-cancer diagnosis is worse among people of color because of how expensive healthcare is and the economic disparity in gender, race and ethnicity in this country. Your voice is NECESSARY not just wanted and needed but essential. I feel privileged to read you and I thank you for doing what you have done and for SURVIVING and speaking out. I wish you only positive days ahead filled with healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg you literally have me in tears. His is the reaction that I want. I have so much to say and I battle with revealing too much fluff. And then I go there. If i’m scared to say it…. I know it belongs. Thank you again. Seriously. Stay tuned. Wait until I get to the part of being a mother through it. Losing your a year of your 2 and 8 year olds life… it’s so much. 😊😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are very young to go through what you have, but any age is bad, any woman’s life hijacked by disease is bad, any disease eating away at us is bad, so therefore if you reveal what you feel that’s NORMAL and you should never feel like you did something wrong by revealing whatever you want to reveal, because what might seem unimportant to someone else can be to you, and they will only learn that if you are honest about it, in other words you may find a day of feeling well is monumental but someone who takes that for granted, well it’s nothing to them is it? So that’s how your message is actually understood and not just read or observed. You want understanding that is not passive it’s involved. Your voice is strong, it doesn’t want to be buried under a rock anymore than you wanted to give up after your diagnosis. I will stay tuned you can bet on that. Meanwhile I thank you for just putting yourself out there, knowing it is not easy and you are doing the right thing. I’m glad you survived – and I add myself to a long life of people who will benefit from your survival. It IS too much and more people need to be aware of the truth and not just the Susan J Komen version.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Dom, I’m here because of Christine, too. Thank you. Thank you for speaking your truth, in your voice. We all need to hear you. Rock on!

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      1. Thank you so much for reading and understanding. I will make you proud my darling. I have sooooo much to say… i’m almost holding back

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Don’t.
        Everyone stifles their truth.
        That is not your path.
        You are glowing with raw honesty and people need that more than anything..
        Let me know this time tomorrow if you had much more traffic to your page.. If sharing it to FB raises your reach I will absoloutly share more and get your voice heard!
        Keep doing you, you beautiful warrior!! ❤

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      3. I most certainly will. I’m speechless. And if you’ve been reading…… you know this unlike me… tee hee❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You know what … the first thing I saw was those gorgeous lashes!!! LOL … and then the tattoos (i’m a lover of ink) … and then the scars.
    And thats Me. Thats how I see things 🙂
    Thankyou for sharing You ❤

    Like

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